Friday, February 13, 2015

Why I'm So Against Fifty Shades of Grey

Before I get started, I want everyone who reads this to know that this is not easy for me. I have difficulty putting the things I feel into words sometimes, especially about this sort of thing. This post is not to condemn anyone to hell. This post is not simply to talk about the book/movie listed in the title.

The last few days I have strongly felt the leading of the Lord to explain why this means so much to me. Those who don't understand this are bound to ridicule me or think I'm crazy, and that's okay. I have to do my best to follow the Lord's leading. This is a post that won't be PG. I will be talking about some things in my past, and if that will bother you then you probably shouldn't read this. Well, here goes nothing. Hoping this makes sense and even helps someone.

Today's world is far different than the one my great grand parents and grand parents grew up in. Sex is everywhere. Commercials have half naked men and women. Movies as well. Sex doesn't mean anything anymore. You meet a cute, get drunk, and hey, why not fall into bed with him? But that's not really what I'm here to talk about. This post, for me, is mostly about my extreme distaste for erotic literature.

When I was younger, I discovered what should be every parent's nightmare. Porn. I was curious and thought maybe such videos would help understand more about sex. What started off as curiosity quickly became an addiction. My parents found out and took measures to prevent this happening again. I thought it was over. But it wasn't. I found ways. It became, as addictions do, something that I needed. Something I wanted. When I discovered erotic literature, I was ecstatic. Harlequin novels were far better than watching it. Maybe that is because I'm a women. Over a period of years, I sank to a level that almost destroyed me. Porn and the books led me to want to experience such stuff for myself. I then moved on to sexting. Total strangers. Men I had never met or knew nothing about.

I wanted to be a sexy girl in one of those videos or in the books I was reading. My way of feeling good about myself was showing my body and making guys excited by the sight. The thing was, that feeling only lasted for awhile. After every time, I just felt dirty. Guys didn't like me. They liked the pictures I sent and the things I said.

I never had sex, not until marriage, but I almost did. Even after I finally kicked the pron habit and the sexting, the books were still there. Everywhere. The library, walmart.

But when I was finally and gloriously delievered, I realized just how dangerous these things are. They make you excited. Make you feel things that God intended your husband to make you feel. After reading one you want to experience such wonderful sex for yourself.

Now many of you have no problem with sex before marriage. I do. The Bible is very clear about such things. To a lot of you, Harlequin novels are just books. They might not visbly affect you.

Sex was something God intended for the marriage bed. He never intended it to be read about, or watched. I'm not saying that reading books like that will make you go and have random sex. Not at all. I'm just saying, that for me and other girls, especially young teens trying to find themselves, this can be dangerous.

Then you have Fifty Shades or Grey. That is taking things to a whole different level. The relationship portrayed is so far from healthy. I read a series a long time ago very similar to that. Sure, the thought of getting tied up by a very sexy man may sound great. And if you wanna do that with your husband, your choice. But he hurt her. Abused her. Stalked her. What is this teaching people? Christian Grey was not a romantic man. He was a man abused as a child. He now abuses women but it is totally okay because he is wealthy and gorgeous. He dominates her in every aspect in her life.

Now take girls in the sex trafficking schemes that happen in the world. Same things happens to them. Virgins forced into an all consuming sexual "relationship" just so some pervert can have it any way he wants it. That's not okay. Right? So why is this okay? Because he seems charming? Because he is so good looking?

I can't believe this was made into a movie. It sickens me that my son has to grow up in a world that is teaching him that a man acts in such a way. God help me amd my husband to teach the way a real man is supposed to treat a woman.

To this day, I still get the urge to read such books. I completely understand the excitement and the feeling elicited by such books. But no. I have an amazing husband who fulfills my needs. Who doesn't have sex with me but makes love to me. We connect and become one as God intended.

As I mentioned earlier, this is not to condemn anyone. I have friends that are going to see the movie and that reads those kinds of books. I just found the need to explain why I feel the way I feel. I have known sexually abused people. I hate seeing the the world now sees this as entertai entertainment.

Also, my parents are not to blame for my issues. Kids who want to can find a way to get their hands on things, despite the many precautions placed by parents.

I'm very thankful for a loving Savior who changed my life and gave me a husband who treats me the way God intended. And for parentd that prayed with me and did everything they could to help me fight an addiction that was unlike anything I've ever faced.

Thanks for reading. God bless,

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